Going against the GRAIN!

I was NINE in this picture, biking with my siblings and “my baby.” I was NINE when I participated in my first live childbirth. From the time I could talk I loved babies. As I grew that love developed into a passion for helping them come into the world. That passion drove me to walk away from college and move to San Fransisco, then Los Angeles and even N.Y.C. 

It was a completely “against the grain” move.

I completed training courses and became a licensed brith and postpartum Doula. I worked with an incredible variety of people, including A-list Hollywood stars. For months on end I lived in top notch hotels, flew on private jets and even had a limo driver at my service for a time. Above all this, I basked in my passion as I learned to serve, love and guide couples through the most sacred and pivotal experience of their lives.

NO ONE else I knew walked away from college to become a birth and postpartum Doula. NO ONE else I knew experienced the adventures, the growth or the travels I did. Those years changed me. My decision to “go against the grain” led me to Cody - the love of my life. That decision was everything. At first, it was the scariest and most uncertain thing I’d ever done, yet making that one and sticking with it ultimately offered me the journey of a lifetime!

Daddy DAY!

As much as I tried to hold back, the tears rolled down my cheeks while I attempted to apply mascara this morning. She asked me to wear “boy colors and a tie.” I did my best. Our very last daughter, her very last preschool “Daddy day” ever. It struck the same cord that has been our reality, but it hit harder today. His heart hurts too, perhaps more than mine. This time it hurt as Reese cried anticipating her special daddy day, without her daddy there, again.

We journeyed through exhaustion as the debt piled up. The concept of delayed gratification kept us plugging through a decade of training and growing a family simultaneously. It is better now, no doubt about it, yet I’m still adjusting to the reality that his average day keeps him away for 12 hours. That nights and weekends and holidays spent working are just the norm. That I continue to play Mom and Dad at many important events. It just hit harder this time.

Comments like "Boy it must be nice," or "Gosh you are so lucky," expose the truth that unless you've walked the medical path, from start to finish and beyond, it's hard to appreciate the sacrifices that doctors, spouses and their children are making all along the way, everyday.