Now you see it. Now you don't.

Keeping our few, quality toys organized and accessible...it's how we roll!

See the good. Be the good.

A fellow mother once said to me (concerning our minimalist media approach) "You can't keep them from reality forever you know!" To that I respectfully respond that media, by and large, isn't reality. Media isn't the whole story. Media is backed by financial gains. Media, even news, is sensationalized and often hyper sexualized.

"Reality" is that most people are good. Reality is that most people don't look like people in the media. Reality is that true joy does not come from stuff, or self indulgence, or social status. Reality is that most people want to be loved, feel needed and be contributors.

We are responsible to help our children develop the lens through which they see this world. We are helping shape their reality, their experience in the world....

but when my teenager came down late last night in tears because she was shaken about what happened in Vegas, I felt unequipped to respond. We slowly dove back into the "This world is filled with so much good, find the good, be the good" talk, but what we said didn't feel right enough or wise enough or good enough. Because what happened was indeed, reality.

As I sit on this plane headed to Vegas I'm feeling grief for the thousands of people who will be affected by this tragedy for the rest of their lives. I'm feeling protective of the the four innocent children that we brought into this world. I'm feeling aware that I am responsible for how I see the world. I am striving to see the good, be the good and remember the good...and sometimes that can be hard, even for a mama bear.

May you always err....

It finally happened. Brinley had her first "terrible" day in high school. She came home distraught and recounted how a teacher unjustly caused "the sweetest boy in class" to cry in front of everyone. It wasn't just any student, he's struggling to find friends, struggling to understand 

what is being taught and he's the smallest kid in class.

As I listened to her, and as tears rolled down her face, she shared what she did to comfort this boy, and I felt glad. Glad because her "worst day ever," was born from hurt for another. Glad because she seeks out "the odd one out," and chooses to befriend them. 

Glad because she is understanding why we are all here.

As Aspen (pictured below) has been able to be the "odd one out," she's discovering empathy for those who always feel different. She is learning from them and growing a love for them.

My sweet girls. May you always err on the side of caring too much. 

Loving too greatly and feeling too deeply. 

School Starts 2017-2018

Because of you, my brave growing girls, I can feel myself slowly but surely becoming the me I have always dreamed of being. May you spread your wings and fly!

Surprise

We nailed it! They've been begging to see Coldplay ever since Cody and I went to the concert earlier this year. Tickets purchased eons ago, 

but we kept it a secret until we walked through the doors. It. Was. EPIC!

Who Knew

If you told me two years ago that I'd build a global business from inside our little kid friendly office, I would have laughed out loud. It would have actually been an idea I'd run from.

Through the ups and downs of my journey I pray that I am teaching my girls, by example, that they can do ANYTHING they set their mind to. That they are mighty warriors capable of achieving great things in this world!

Rocks

Reason #36593 for why we've chosen a mostly media free approach to parenting - because boredom is the pathway to creativity and creativity is critical to growing healthy, happy humans. Today she carefully collected rocks throughout the neighborhood, then washed them one by one. "Mom, you must leave my new centerpiece out for a VERY long time!!" Reese was SO proud of her masterpiece❤️ Hopefully we are aware of the destructive media material out there. May we also be keenly aware of what they are missing out on if they are glued to devices.

The TRUTH is...

Apparently it's football season again? Time for me to pull out my Buckeye shirt and act all Ohioan. BTW, I have no clue if they won or lost last night...but the yoga class I went to was awesome! Did I mention that once I fell asleep at an OSU football game in the horseshoe?

My Tribe

This week I asked my team (nearly 500 strong now) to summarize, in just ONE WORD, how they would describe our team culture. This image represents THEIR collective voices. 

What an honor to call them my TRIBE!

Baby Lennox

What a joy and honor to support my dear friend Brenna and her husband Dan throughout the birth of their baby yesterday. She was a mighty Mama rockstar throughout the entire process, from start to finish! The experience brought back many wonderful memories from my career as a Birth and Postpartum Doula.

Supporting women as they do incredible things is my passion and yesterday was a gift. Being able to hug this sweet mother as she snuggled her precious son for the first time was priceless. Welcome to the world baby Lennox! You and your family will always hold a special place in my heart

Let Them Chase Birds

What she enjoyed most of all during our zoo date, even more than feeding the giraffe, was chasing the wild birds. At one point another little boy joined in, but his freedom only lasted a moment before his mother rushed over, grabbed him by the arm and said 

"we didn't come to the zoo to chase birds!!"

I sat pondering, quietly contemplating the situation. There are many areas of parenting that I fall short in - MANY - but I've grown into a space of motherhood where spending most of our time at the zoo chasing wild birds can be lovely and unrushed.

What Matters Most

"Mrs. Young - please let me know what your academic goals for your child are during this school year." It's a question I've answered more times than I can count and my response has always been the same. Here is the response I offered one of Brinley's high school teachers just weeks ago when asked this question:

"Our primary focus with our children has always been on their character. We have found that when appropriate foundational traits are well established, ownership and diligence in school work, and in other endeavors, is a byproduct. Hence, our expectations for Brinley in your class are that she is respectful, kind, patient, hard working, intentional and reaches out in love to those who may need a friend. She has demonstrated a work ethic that she is proud of and entirely responsible for. Our concern is not on test scores or letter grades, but that she does her very best, day after day, with utmost integrity. Thank you for your selfless service as a teacher. We appreciate you."

Mama's Business Marches Onward

I've received paychecks most of my life, but NEVER have they meant what they mean to me now. The best part about payday now is hearing what it's doing for those on my team. Yesterday I asked them just that and the answers came pouring in:

* Taking our family on a surprise vacation to Disneyland.

* Home improvements.

* Paying off student loans.

* Paying off our cars.

* Preschool, gymnastics and piano for the month.

* Fall wardrobe and shoes for all the kids.

* Helping my husband say goodbye to his boss.

* Helping a struggling family in need.

* Saving to build our dream home on a farm.

* Closer to being able to quit my full time job.

* Putting into out three kids collage funds.

* Paying our entire mortgage.

* Paying for fertility treatments.

Money doesn't buy joy, not at all, but finding meaning and purpose in helping others provides immeasurable joy! Seeing debt erased and time freedom obtained brings me happiness! All I wanted was discount skincare...oh my, I had NO idea that I would get SO MUCH MORE.

Quiet ALL Day

On the way to kindergarten she said "Mom, I am going to be very quiet ALL day today!" 

"Really Reese? Why is that?" 

"Because yesterday my teacher said that I was doing a GREAT job at being quiet!"

Another simple reminder to me that encouragement is the 

most effective motivator for children and adults alike!

JUST a reminder!

Oddly enough, in the serenity of my mornings, I forgot to pack her a snack ONCE. YUP, one time! That dreaded day when I was summoned into the kindergarten classroom and offered my first "snack warning."

THEN TODAY, guess who packed the snack INSIDE her lunchbox instead of on the OUTSIDE pocket of her backpack? Gasp! Can you EVEN believe it?! What on earth was I thinking when I packed that fateful lunchbox today...in the midst of my peaceful morning.

SO...twice, okay. Doesn't "few" mean three or more? Here are my options should Reese, HEAVEN FORBID, discover herself stranded in her air conditioned classroom after her belly is filled with lunch, and there is NO sighting of her snack at the official "snack time," when ALL children must have a snack:

A. Remind her that children all over this world go without snack time at school, heavens, they even go without food ALL DAY LONG and not having a snack will remind her, that when she does have a snack, she is more fortunate that a majority of the children in the world.

B. Reassure her (and her teacher) that she will most definitely survive until she is rescued at 3pm by her forgetful mother who shall swiftly whisk her to the safety of her own home, where she then has a second snack EVERY! SINGLE! DAY!

C. Ask to keep a supply of snacks on hand in the classroom in case, in the calmness of my peaceful morning, I FAIL, once again, to pack my 4th child a snack. Because you know what, that is absolutely, no doubt about it, going to happen!

Business Keeps Booming

I never expected to train a room of 330+ people or lead a team of 400+ consultants. I also never expected how much I'd come to love it! How much I'd come to love THEM and how fulfilling it would be to grow in ways I'd never imagined!! 

It's been a journey, one of ups and downs again and again. The downs make me stronger and teach my children that growth comes through hard things. The ups come mostly from watching those I coach triumph and succeed!

The gifts keep arriving and my team keeps growing. 

Eighteen months ago I'd never heard of R+F, now I have 444 people on my team.

It's crazy.

It's amazing.

It's incredible.

I've grown.

I've demonstrated to my girls that they can do ANYTHING they want to in this life and THAT is most priceless gift of it all!

From My Best Friend Paige

I leave Ohio today after the most AMAZING week with Leah Lewis Youngand her family. The Youngs are one of those families you watch in amazement. They are organized, their kids are proactive and polite, accomplished and talkative and their home is run like a well oiled machine. I've copied about 10 of the systems that are going to make our lives so much better!

Leah is a friend who makes me feel like I'm The Best. Somehow when I'm around her my ideas are brilliant, I'm gorgeous and could earn a free Lexus and become a millionaire! Like my friend said "I love how Leah loves you" and that is how to sum it up. We have witnessed each others darkest moments and celebrated each others greatest achievements since we were 14. She knows the best and worst of me and somehow finds a way to mirror only the best. I feel like I can be anything and do anything with her in my life. I wish a friend like her upon everyone.

Each time I'm around Leah I become a better person, a better Mom and now better at my job! I have gleaned as much as I possibly could from her wisdom and INSANE organization and parenting skills. We have gotten on 3 way calls, grown my team and I've picked her brain about how she has grown a team of almost 500 and earned her Lexus and an income I am now dreaming of. Best of all we've laughed and laughed and cherished each moment we could connect and be together.

Thank you Leah, Cody and you amazing Young Girls. 

I love you and can't wait for our next time together!

Third Grade, Middle School + High School Begins!

Because of you, my brave growing girls, I can feel myself slowly but surely becoming the me I have always dreamed of being. May you spread your wings and fly

RESOLVED.

Kindergarten, 3rd grade, middle school and high school - this week they go back, which means it's time for me to review my back-to-school resolutions:

Resolved - I'm going to stay out of the homework business. My child's homework is not my responsibility. I will do my "home work" and they will do theirs.

Resolved - I will not drive back to school if they forget an assignment. I allow my children to benefit from learning lessons the hard way.

Resolved - I am going to remember that trying to prevent my child from "failing" only makes it inevitable that someday she will fail. When something is bound to happen sooner or later, the sooner the better.

Resolved - I am not going to expect my child to excel or event be at everything. For example, if she's an excellent reader, but not so good at math, so be it. The more I accept her weaknesses along with her strengths, the more accepting she will be of herself.

Resolved - I am going to concentrate on teaching my children the three R's of respect, responsibility and resourcefulness. This is the best way to support the teacher in teaching the three R's of reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic.

Resolved - Loving them the best way I know means doing the right thing, even when it feels like the hardest thing in the moment. It's my job not to satisfy them in the moment, but to teach them how to live a life of full life of true joy.

The Tears Did Come

Perhaps it was sitting by the trampoline and watching her friend jump, or when I dropped off her older sisters to dance at the Irish Festival, only the most exciting dance performace opportunity of the year, but today it became real.

She cried and cried as she listed off all the things that she can no longer do. She's scared to start a new school year and be different. She's scared about the surgery. She's scared that if she feels this way now, how is it going to be when she can't walk after surgery.

I hugged her and we cried together. I told her that it was okay to cry - that tears and pain are often part of the pathway toward growth. I told her that she is going to be able to help others and love others in a unique way because of what she has been through and is about to face. With her face buried in my chest I could feel her nod in agreement.

Thank you for the outpouring of love and concern - oh how thankful we feel for all of you!! Thank you to Amber Adams Sharipov and family for unexpectedly hand delivering a basket chock full of creative activities for the long car rides and to Sharee Ottena Barker, our sweet neighbor, for the special new comfort blanket as Aspen faces and conquers this upcoming mountain...and that she will - through smiles and tears.

Fight the Good Fight!

Last week after teaching my classes at Lifetimes I sat on the stage in my studio. I sat alone, lights off and I thought "WHY do I continue to do this? WHY do I love this so much?"

I thought back on the years of shuffling my little kiddos in and out of various clubs, rushing in to nurse my babies when teaching back-to-back classes, staying up until wee hours of the morning memorizing new formats and feeling so exhausted driving to the club that I would cry before slapping on a smile and cranking out another class.

I thought back on hundreds of trainings - and this grueling three day Body Pump certification in particular. How several people dropped out. How I wanted to drop out when I was up at 2am memorizing choreography with a sore body and a nursing baby to boot.

As I sat alone in the dark it came to me - I love teaching is because I have fought for it! Seventeen years of quiet unheralded decisions to press on when the going got tough and a willingness to be uncomfortably terrified teaching brand new formats 32+ times.

Staying tucked away in my comfort zone could have robbed me from hundreds of meaningful relationships and unmeasurable personal growth. I say face your fears, fight the fight and be the master of your own destiny!

The Country Farm School

They are back! NO electronics. NO mirrors, watches or clocks. NO electricity. NO earrings. NO logos. NO indoor plumbing. NO complaining...AND it's their absolute FAVORITE week of the entire year!

On the farm in Amish country their days are spent in uniform straw hats, t-shirts and long pants as they:

*Scoop poop

*Milk goats

*Collect eggs

*Winnow corn

*Garden 

 *Make meals

*Wood work

*Spin wool

*Clean the hay loft

And on and on. THEY actually LOVE every moment of it! Between "chores" they take creek walks, make homemade bread and applesauce, play with the animals, listen to bedtime stories and create sweet friendships. OH IT'S SO GOOD FOR THE SOUL!

A Walk with Aspen

Aspen was eager to keep our hands latched together during our long walk this morning. My tears silently feel as I contemplated what a complex and difficult world they are growing up in. 

Said the writer of Proverbs "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, 

he will not depart from it." 

May we be ever so diligent and intentional as we train these sweet children 

to navigate the stormy seas of life.

Thank You Grandma!

Teaching fitness well into her 90's wasn't about her - it was always about them. She loved them selflessly and, through her years and years of teaching, became an icon in her city featured in the newspaper time and again. "Think she's little old lady? Just try to keep up!"

As these framed posters hang in my home gym I am reminded of my Grandmas strength, determination and devotion to finding true joy by putting others first! Here's to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them!

Character Counts

When asked to babysit last night she said "please tell her I made a prior commitment and cannot tonight." For my firstborn who not only loves babysitting, but is also striving to pay a portion of all her camps this summer, that "no" represented her blossoming character. Serving alongside her at the homeless shelter last night was even more meaningful because of her choice. 

Striving to parent my four firecrackers properly is the hardest thing I've ever done and continue to do, but I do believe that it is the most important too.

To my Sweet Daugthers

 From middle to high school, elementary to middle, 
2nd to 3rd and pre-school to kindergarten. 

My sweet daughters, 

            May you always remember that you are BRAVER than you you believe, STRONGER than you seem and SMARTER than you think. 

You will glow in this harsh world as you continue to be a LIGHT unto others and lift where you stand. 

No matter how old you are, I will always be your Mommy.

5-10-17

 8:00am - Moms and Muffins at Eli Pinney Elementary.

9:00am - Preschool drop off.

9:30am - Mini Van drop off for oil change and tire rotation.

9:45am - Picked up by Lexus dealer to go sign on my new FREE car!

12:00pm - FINALLY done - race back to get the van, rush home.

12:30pm - Throw everything together for our trip to Washington for Grandma's burial.

1:30pm- Get elementary school girls, then middle schooler, then preschooler. 

2:00pm - Fill up with gas and head off on a very relaxing (NOT) seven hour drive.

As I Have Loved You, Love One Another

Today after church we visited a widowed gentleman in our congregation. The girls played piano and danced for him. We giggled and talked. He must have thanked us twelve or more times. At one point I noticed him holding back tears. We already have a date to go visit him again.

I was the perfect mother before I had children. When they were little I was a surviving mother. Fourteen years in I am a mother who struggles daily, but chooses to not give up.

Among my many shortcomings - today I was reminded that our girls ARE learning to love and care for others and for that that I am proud.

Mother's Day Walk 2017

We went on a leisurely mothers day walk together - my request. Allow me to recap a fraction of our experience:

"Mom, do we ALL HAVE to come?!!"

"I NEVER get to play with my babies at home..." sobbing, then more sobbing.

"It's TOO HOT (75 degrees) I am burning!!"

"I think bugs are bitting me, my skin itches (3 min. into walk) can I PLEASE go back??"

"My foot hurts. Why did they get to wear flip-flops and I have to wear sneakers. It's not fair."

"I can't pull my babies anymore, it's too heavy!" (Insert sobbing 

and the fact that she INSISTED on placing a full carseat into the wagon to strap her baby in. The other is lying in a basket)

"Dad do we HAVE to say something nice about Mom when we turn the corner. REALLY?!! Ugh."

"Reese!!! STOP climbing on the trees, we all want to get this over with." (insert Reese crying because her feelings are hurt)

Two girls went back early. We ended up pulling Reese back in the wagon and Aspen limped to the finish line frustrated.

Throughout the "torturous" walk we forced our children to endure (on a most gorgeous day), I remembered that someday I will feel empty inside when they are gone. Someday I will be the one sobbing that walks are so peaceful. Someday I will want nothing more than to relive our family walk on Mothers Day 2017.

Going against the GRAIN!

I was NINE in this picture, biking with my siblings and “my baby.” I was NINE when I participated in my first live childbirth. From the time I could talk I loved babies. As I grew that love developed into a passion for helping them come into the world. That passion drove me to walk away from college and move to San Fransisco, then Los Angeles and even N.Y.C. 

It was a completely “against the grain” move.

I completed training courses and became a licensed brith and postpartum Doula. I worked with an incredible variety of people, including A-list Hollywood stars. For months on end I lived in top notch hotels, flew on private jets and even had a limo driver at my service for a time. Above all this, I basked in my passion as I learned to serve, love and guide couples through the most sacred and pivotal experience of their lives.

NO ONE else I knew walked away from college to become a birth and postpartum Doula. NO ONE else I knew experienced the adventures, the growth or the travels I did. Those years changed me. My decision to “go against the grain” led me to Cody - the love of my life. That decision was everything. At first, it was the scariest and most uncertain thing I’d ever done, yet making that one and sticking with it ultimately offered me the journey of a lifetime!