Curiosity and Connection vs. Control

When I’m living in my “highest parenting self” moments and respond to my child’s vulnerability with genuine curiosity and thoughtful questions, I AM OFTEN AMAZED at their ability to think deeply, grow in new ways, draw thoughtful conclusions and create THEIR OWN empowering action plans.

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For example, when my child tells me about an “annoying,” or “rude,” or “mean” person - these are some of the questions that may be a part of that type of conversation. Hopefully these spark an idea that can be useful/helpful for fellow parents out there:

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“That sounds really hard. What felt most frustrating to you about this situation?”

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“It sounds like this person feels angry, have you considered what they may be experiencing in their life outside of school that could be hard for them right now?”

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“Wow, that’s a tricky situation to be in the middle of! What are some ideas you can brainstorm to navigate through this?”

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“That must’ve felt painful, I’m sorry. Did this experience teach you something new about yourself that might help you in future situations?

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“I can sense how upsetting this was, I’m sorry sweetheart. Do you have any thoughts on setting a boundary in this relationship and/or respectfully speak your truth? What do you feel would be a helpful choice for you to make right now?”

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“It sounds like this was a really hard day and what you need is just a listening ear - I am right here to listen. It’s perfectly okay to just feel these sad/mad/angry/frustrated feelings.”

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Realizing that we don’t have to “fix” our children or “solve” all of their problems is a gift on SO many levels!!